How i Died S1 E09: The Descent

Transcript: How i Died S1 E09: The Descent

This transcript is adapted from the episode’s original script, so the final audio may differ slightly.

[Click busy street sounds. Lots of people talking and gathered]

[Around.]

Sheriff: Everybody back up please. Let him through.

Jon: Thanks. What’s going on?

Sheriff: A high profile case – the Vanderbilt family.

Jon: I’m not familiar.

Sheriff: They’re the founders of the town. Been here for generations, and now they’re opening this new apartment complex on the east side. Well, luck would have it, we’ve got a body on the first day of showing.

Jon: I’m surprised you called me on this one.

Sheriff: Why’s that?

Jon: Just… After our talk in the woods.

Sheriff: This should be an open and shut insurance case. I need you to confirm cause of death here so we can give the press a statement saying that the Vanderbilt familiy is in no way responsible, yadda yadda.

Jon: Oookay… And… That is a woman’s body on the pavement.

Sheriff: Yep. We’ve cut off the surrounding area from the public, but that didn’t stop a crowd from forming around the tape.

Jon: Why so many people? I was just getting used to no one caring about deaths around here.

Sheriff: It’s because of the Vanderbilt name.

[Cruncing shoes on glass]

Jon: What in the hell happened here. Looks like quite an impact.

Sheriff: See the window way up there? The big ass floor to ceiling section missing?

Jon: Fourth story up. It looks like the pane is missing. Was she pushed through?

Sheriff: That’s what we need you to confirm. I’m 99% sure she wasn’t. We’ve got a couple off to the side right now – Deputy is talking to them. They were looking at the apartment when our vitcim, Natalie Row, fell through the window.

Jon: Ouch. That doesn’t sound like it just happens out of the blue.

Sheriff: Thing is, these windows are supposed to be shatterproof, but it definitely looks shattered to me.

Jon: Actually, shatterproof glass can still break. It just has plastic on both sides that should hold the glass in place.

Sheriff: Well it’s broken now.

Jon: Hmm. The way these chunks of glass are strewn around the body seems like the glass was whole until it hit the ground.

Sheriff: So it didn’t break in the actual window?

Natalie: No, it didn’t.

Jon: Hmm. Tell you what; give me a few minutes to look at some of this and I’ll have an answer for you.

Sheriff: Good. Now stay away from the couple and don’t talk to the public.

Jon: Yes ma’an.

[Walking away]

Natalie: I better get a full page in the Times.

Jon: (whispering) Natalie?

Natalie: Yep. That was me – Natalie Row, real estate mogul – cut down in her prime. Estate Princess Falls to Tragic End in Shoddy Building Accident.

Jon: Mrs. Row, I can hear you.

Natalie: Excuse me? You?

Jon: Yes. My name is Jon and I’m the –

Natalie: You of all people can hear me? Not the press or that dashing sheriff.

Jon: I’d like to figure out what happened here.

Natalie: I just told you what happen – I was cruely robbed of my wonderful life.

Jon: Yes, but how?

Natalie: Well, I feel out of the damn window, obviously.

Jon: Did it break?

Natalie: No, you see, I’ve worked on Vanderbilt constructions before. These windows are bullet and shatterproof, so I did my normal routine of pushing and pounding on it to show the clients, and…

Jon: You pushed on the window until…

Natalie: It popped right out of the pane, and so did I.

Jon: Victim’s body shows no traces of glass shards in her clothing, visible skin or hair. It appears that the glass shattered upon impact with the ground.

[Natalie whistles]

Natalie: Splat! Tragic! I hope these bastards get sued for all their worth. Hell, I hope I own this damn complex when my lawyers are through.

Jon: Glad to see you’re taking this well…

Natalie: (getting quieter) I want a god damn statue of me in the center of this shit town.

[Jon walking on glass]

[Jon]

[Crowd noises getting louder.]

Sheriff: (in distance) We don’t have definitive evidence yet. When we do, we’ll be comfortable making a statement. Thank you.

Jon: Crowley.

[Crowd noises in background]

Sheriff: Yeah? Got anything?

Curtis: (faintly) Doctor Spacer!

Jon: I think so. No glass on the vic’s body seems to indicate the window was whole when it popped out. I need to get up there and check the scene to be sure. If there are no glass shards up there, we can be fairly certain.

Sheriff: Let’s get you up there then.

Curtis: (louder) Doctor Spacer! It’s me, from the hospital.

Jon: Oyy. You again.

Sheriff: Curtis…

Jon: You know him?

Sheriff: (to jon) He came to my office a few days ago, asking about you.

Sheriff: (louder) we’re working, Crutis. Please leave.

Curtis: I knew I’d find you here. Big case, huh? Are you going to use your magic to solve it?

Jon: My magic?

Sheriff: Let’s go.

[Walking sounds. Curtis walking quickly to catch up.]

Curtis: Wait, wait. Who were you just talking to, doctor?

Jon: What?

Curtis: Over by the body. It looked like you were having a conversation.

Jon: I was just talking to myself.

Sheriff: Just ignore him, Jon.

Jon: I record audio notes for all of the case files.

Curtis: Oh. You sure it wasn’t someone else?

Sheriff: Curtis, I’m gonna tell you one last time. Fuck off and stop spouting your conspiracy bullshit. We’re working.

Curtis: Sure; sure. I’ll see you later, Doctor Spacer.

Sheriff: (Grunts) Up here. Emergency stairwell. JON AND SHERIFF ASCENDING STAIRS Forget him.

Jon: What was he asking about me, specifically?

Sheriff: Who knows. Asking all kinds of weirdo questions. But that’s not unusual for him.

Jon: Is this a regular thing?

Sheriff: Oh-ho yeah, you could say that. Guys’s a nut job – I’ve had run-ins with him a few times over the years. It’s always one thing or another – usually aliens or government conspiracy crap he gets obsessed with. It’ll blow over.

Jon: Has he ever gotten this confrontational?

Sheriff: What do you mean?

Jon: Nothing. Just wondering.

Sheriff: I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s harmless.

Jon: It’s just that… Well, after the whole Springfield Corporation thing, I think I may have an idea as to what’s going on around here.

Sheriff: What does that mean?

Jon: Well, with those storms you saw, and what happened to you son…

Sheriff: Don’t you fucking dare. You don’t know ANYTHING about anything.

Jon: I wasn’t trying to insert myself in the situation…

Sheriff: I swear to god, Jon…

Jon: I was just trying to find an explanation.

Sheriff: Stop talking.

Jon: I think the flares caused some sort of health and mental problems in the people in this town.

Sheriff: You need to stop. Stop it right now. If you’ve got theories, fucking fantastic. Go talk to Curtis about them – I’m sure he’d love it. But you leave me, and my son, out of this shit. I don’t want to know. And the less you pry into my life, the better. Bad stuff just happens sometimes. And some things are better left unexplained.

Jon: I’m sorry.

Sheriff: Just drop it so we can actually do our jobs, okay? Christ, you treat this like a damn social hour.

Jon: I thought you’d want to know.

Sheriff: Get in, do your job, get out. That’s it.

Jon: I can see that.

Sheriff: I have friends to talk to ahout my shit. You should try it sometime. You know, making friends.

Jon: Yeah. I got it…

Sheriff: You know, maybe a hobby would be good. That way you can stop acting like a wannabe investigative journalist and just

Jon: Okay, okay. I get the picture.

Sheriff: Here we are. Go ahead in.

[Door opens and they go into the hallway. Sheriff uses keys]

[To unlock an apartment door.]

Jon: Wow. You were not kidding when you said luxury apartments.

Sheriff: Didn’t expect somethin like this in Springfield, huh?

Jon: Well, honestly, I was just looking to change the subject. But this is extravagant for any city.

Sheriff: The Vanderbilt’s have money, and they know the reputation we’re getting. Guess they expect more fancy people to move here.

Jon: People WANT to live here?

Sheriff: Nation’s highest death rate attracts a certain… Interested clientele.

Jon: And I’m sure someone being killed in a freak accident would only help the property value.

Sheriff: What happened to not jumping to conclusions?

Jon: I’m not – er. I was just –

Sheriff: Anyway, the room’s all yours. I’m going to see if the deputy’s questioning can corroborate your evidence. I’ve got the only set of keys and the door auto locks, so leave it cracked.

Jon: Got it. Thanks.

[Sheriff leaves. Jon walking across wooden floors.]

Jon: Let’s see… I’m not finding any blatant glass shards anywhere, including the perimeter of the room. If it was cleaned, it was done incredibly well, but my first instinct is that there was no glass here anyway. There are also no signs of a struggle or moving any of the well-placed furniture. It looks like a show room, still. … The only glaring issue is the lack of a window in the frame on the far wall. As I’m approaching the frame, I still see no signs of glass shards, although my gut is telling me that there are none to find. This whole place is the most innocent-looking crime scene I’ve ever been to.

Curtis: (further away in the doorway) Yet someone is still dead.

Jon: Holy shit. What are you doing here?

Curtis: I came to talk to you.

Jon: Get out. You’re not allowed up here.

[Curtis walks closer on hardwood.]

Curtis: (coming closer) You just said it’s barely a crime scene. I won’t disturb anything. Why are you backing up? Are you afraid of me?

Jon: I’m going to call the sheriff. You need to leave.

Curtis: Relax. If anything, I want us to be friends. And I can keep a secret.

Jon: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Curtis: Are You recording this?

Jon: What?

Curtis: That recorder in your hand. I saw it last time, too. Do you record everything?

Jon: No. Not everything.

Curtis: Interesting… Does anyone else know what’s on those tapes?

Jon: What are you implying?

Curtis: Something is going on with you, isn’t it? You can tell me. No, no – you don’t need to turn it off.

[Mic muffle]

Jon: You’re clearly experiencing some kind of trauma from your accident.

Curtis: I know something happened in that ER. I keep having these visions… Just talk to me. We can share this together.

Jon: Look; I’m trying to be honest and be your friend. I really don’t know what it is.

Curtis: Who were you talking to down there?

Jon: Get away from the window.

Curtis: It’s a long fall down.

Jon: Curtis, listen to me. Back away.

Curtis: Were you talking to the … dead lady? Did she answer you?

Jon: Just come over here and we can talk.

Curtis: I’m not going to jump. But if I did… What do you think I’d find?

Jon: What do you want from me?

Curtis: (very close) The truth, doctor Spacer. That’s it. … I’ll see you soon.

[Curtis leaves. The door slams shut. Jon breathes heavily.]

[Mic turn on]

Jon: The… Window frame… Seems to show no sign of damage. It seems like a fluke… One in a million chance that you happened to be right there when he died… No one wakes up from that. Shit. Ummm. End of notes. Findings inconclusive.

[Click]