How i Died S1 E06: Responsibility

Transcript: How i Died S1 E06: Responsibility

This transcript is adapted from the episode’s original script, so the final audio may differ slightly.

Amelia: Aaaanyways – you have another guest who’d like to speak with you, if you have a minute.

Ray: She can see me?

Jon: You can see him?

Amelia: What? He’s… Outside in the hall. He asked to see you.

Ray: Bummer.

Jon: Oh. Oh. Yeah. Who is it?

Amelia: I’ll go get him. He’s been in my hair for days, bugging me with tons of questions. Yes, I get it. I saved you – I’m awesome. Get over your hero complex, right? He’s you’re problem now. (Pause) Go on it. Don’t touch anything!

Curtis: Hi doctor Spacer. Remember me?

Ray: Who is that?

Jon: I’m sorry – do I know you?

Curtis: I should hope so! My name is Curtis. I’m the guy from the ER a few weeks ago. I was legally dead… and then I came back.

Jon: Ah. I do remember hearing about that. Can I help you with something?

Curtis: I – I was trying to get your number from the hospital directory, but they wouldn’t give it to me.

Jon: I should really be getting back to work.

Curtis: I was hoping we could talk some time.

Jon: (yelling) Doctor Gatz! Are you still here?

Ray: What’s going on?

Curtis: See, I’ve been asking around about you. You just moved here recently, but when I woke up in that ER the other day… I felt like I’d seen you before.

Jon: We haven’t met before.

Curtis: I thought that too. But I definitely remember you. If you could just spare some time to talk, I would really –

Jon: I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. And you really shouldn’t be down here. This area is restricted.

Curtis: Do you believe in an afterlife, doctor Spacer?

Jon: Please leave.

Curtis: Cause I think I had some sort of vision, and –

Jon: That sounds like something you’d want to bring up with a therapist, or a neurologist. I am neither, so if you could just-

Curtis: Okay. Okay. I’m going. But I really think it’s in your best interest if you’d talk to me.

Jon: Get out.

[Door slams]

Jon: Jesus christ.

[Jon slumps down.]

Ray: What was that about? … Jon? What’s going on?

Jon: Go away.

Ray: What?

Jon: I said go away! Go back to your case file and leave me alone.

Ray: Screw you.

Jon: Seriously?

Ray: Yeah, seriously! You don’t get to take whatever weird frustrations you’re having out on me just because I’m here.

Jon: You’re the one who stuck around. You could’ve moved on a long time ago.

Ray: I’m not ready yet, and I didn’t ask you to get in my business.

Jon: Then why get in mine?

Ray: Because you were slumped on the floor looking like you were about to start hyperventilating. Pardon me for not being as self-serving as you, but I actually care about people.

Jon: And I don’t?

Ray: I don’t think you do. You were the one saying ghosts always want something from you, but I think it’s you who wants something from everyone else.

Jon: I’m trying to solve these cases FOR the victims. FOR people like you. You don’t know anything.

Ray: You were a judgemental prick to me an hour ago. You were barely talking to that other doctor when she was just trying to be nice, and now this guy? What? He wasn’t useful to you, so you don’t care about him?

Jon: That guy had a near death experience in the ER. He was DEAD for over a minute! I saw him as a ghost, and spoke to him. And then he miraculously gets revived. Now he thinks he saw me.

Ray: Shit.

Jon: Yeah, shit. He remembers talking to me AS A GHOST. What do you think happens if he keeps remembering? Or figures out what happened?

Ray: Nothing good…

Jon: Nothing good. I’d have to move again… And I swore I wouldn’t let anyone find out this time. Damnit!

Ray: Relax. You don’t know that he’ll put any of it together. People hallucinate near death, right?

Jon: Right. Right. Which is why I have to keep denying, and pretend that none of *this* exists.

Ray: So just keep your head down, no friends, no talking to ghosts.

Jon: I shouldn’t even be talking to you now.

Ray: Just do your job in silence, leaving the victims to sit by and watch as you poke and prod their body?

Jon: Exactly.

Ray: That was sarcasm. Do you know how awful it would be for those people?

Jon: I can’t interract with them any more. I was lied to, tricked and used for the first few cases here. They are not my problem anymore.

Ray: Of course they are! You can talk to the dead. That’s your superpower.

Jon: It’s a weakness. I can’t rely on ghosts to help me solve cases.

Ray: Why not?

Jon: Because. If I can’t solve it without them, then it means…

Ray: Means what?

Jon: It means I’m not a good enough doctor to do this on my own.

Ray: Jesus christ. And you said that guy needs a therapist?

Jon: Not funny.

Ray: I’m serious. You don’t get to act like a victim here. You’ve got some weird baggage you need to get over.

Jon: That’s the pot calling the kettle black.

Ray: My point is, even though I don’t know you all that well, I just watched you figure out that a woman was murdered by looking at a photo.

Jon: So what?

Ray: So, I’m saying you may be an asshole kid, but you’re smart. And you’re lucky.

Jon: Gee, thanks.

Ray: No – You’re lucky that you have this ability. It can make you even better at solving cases. So if you’re really solving them for the victims, and not just to inflate your ego, I suggest you stop fighting against this weird gift of yours, and help the people who actually need it.

Jon: And how will I know which people need it?

Ray: You’ve gotta figure that out on your own. From my experience, ghosts are just like regular people – some will lie, some will be awful, but some will just be scared and wondering what happened.

Jon: Scared and wondering what happened…

Ray: Right.

Jon: Fine.

[Jon stands up and walks into the office.]

Ray: That’s it? Where are you going?

[Jon is looking through files and drawers.]

Ray: What are you looking for?

Jon: Back during my residency, I got pretty good at pretending that ghosts didn’t exist. I mean, there weren’t a ton of them because we were using mostly cadavers who had been dead for a while – but every so often, I saw someone wandering the halls, just looking scared or confused. But I pushed them away. I tried to learn as much as I could so that I could eventually help, but with so many other people around… I had to just ignore them and keep going.

Ray: Okay…

Jon: It was rough. I heard their screams and cries. Ghosts panicking in the uppet parts of the hospital. It wasn’t a great system, but it was working, until someone I cared about died, and their ghost roamed the halls.

Ray: I’m so sorry.

Jon: I spoke to her, and it was miserable. And once I realized she was dead, I became obsessed with the case. I spent all of my time at the hospital, pouring over files, and her body… Until she got sick of it. Eventually, she didn’t care about how she died. She just wanted me to stop obsessing about it, but I couldn’t. So she left. She moved on after months, and left me alone with my boss and classmates thinking I was crazy. So I left.

Ray: And that’s why you came here.

Jon: Correct.

Ray: Why are you telling me this?

Jon: Because, you made me realize that I’ve been blind. And someone who needs real help has been in front of me the whole time.

Ray: What?

Jon: Here! Ray Melba – died March 10, 1989.

Ray: Me? Put my file away.

Jon: I can’t do that, Ray. You’re in the same spot I was, obsessing about your case – so I’m going to help you solve it.

Ray: You don’t understand –

Jon: Ray Melba, found barely breathing in his home after a gun shot wound to the head… Emergency responders brought him here, but he was pronounced dead only a few minutes later. Case ruled as a…

Ray: As a suicide. Yes.

Jon: You shot yourself?

Ray: I did.

Jon: I don’t understand – why were you obsessing about your case file if you’d killed yourself.

Ray: Because it wasn’t my file I was thinking about. It was my brother, Mike. Same year.

[Papers shuffling]

Jon: Mike Melba… Found it.

Ray: Wait. I changed my mind.

Jon: What? Haven’t you wanted to look at it for years now?

Ray: I have, but… I don’t know if I can take it.

Jon: Why not?

Ray: Because I know how he died… And I can’t bare to see him again.

Jon: You don’t need to look…

Ray: It’s not that… It’s… I’m the reason he’s dead.

Jon: You are?

Ray: Please, just put the file away. I changed my mind.

Jon: What happened?

Ray: There was an accident at the Springfield Corp. Lab…

Jon: And You killed yourself out of guilt…

Ray: I did. I made him go back into a dangerous area and he got killed for it.

Jon: You two were working on something unsafe?

Ray: We were… Contractors… working on a material that was supposed to dissipate geomagnetic energy from a blast.

Jon: A blast? Like… A bolt of lightning?

Ray: No. Geomagnetic is a solar flare, not lightning.

Jon: So… You were building an environmental shield for the government. What, did they expect the world to end in Y2K?

Ray: We called it the Bubble. Heh. but I wasn’t kept in the loop for a lot of details. There were murmorings of trying to use the shield for military defense purposes, but we weren’t government funded.

Jon: I think that makes it worse.

Ray: It probably does, but it was exciting work. Mike and I, were so close to finalizing a way to absorb the subatomic particles from the solar flares and then release them out slowly. You see – the problem was that these kind of flares happened before and caused mass damage all over the globe. The thought was that if we could dissipate the flare, it could prevent or even save the world should the sun continue to overheat.

Jon: Impressive work. But what went wrong?

Ray: And unexpected solar flare happened while Mike and I were working… The material wasn’t fully functional yet…

Jon: I’m so sorry, Ray.

Ray: So yeah… I killed my own brother. It should have been me in there.

Jon: It was just an accident.

Ray: You don’t understand. I asked him to lock up because I just wanted to get home. We were always supposed to have two people in the lab… I left him there.

Jon: Have you talked to him? I’m sure he would forgive you.

Ray: I can’t talk to him.

Jon: Why not?

Ray: His body was here, but I think his spirit is trapped in the lab – if it even appeared at all.

Jon: So why didn’t you go there to check?

Ray: I can’t. I can’t face him. So I sit here and think and replay everything in my head as punishment.

[Papers shuffling]

Jon: I have to look at his file, Ray.

Ray: Why? I just told you everything.

Jon: He’s patient zero… If anything, the weird shit in this town might have started with that explosion.

Ray: Fine. Just make it quick… And… Can you turn off the recorder? I don’t want this stuff on the record.

Jon: Sure thing. It would probably just sound like me talking to myself anyway.

[Mic clicks off. Folder opening. Papers flipping]

Jon: Mike Melba… Whoa… He’s got an extensive medical record.

Ray: Really?

Jon: Yeah, look at this. Page after page dating back to 1982 and then stopping in 1988. Then nothing until his death record in 1989.

Ray: He never told me about any medical issue…

Jon: The notes from 82 say he was admitted for headaches and run through a CT scan. Back then, I guess the technology wasn’t as accurate, but from here, they noted a blood clot in his brain.

Ray: A blood clot…?

Jon: It sounds like a brain aneurysm to me. Whatever it was, they deemed it too risky to remove. Here "patient given access to a drug trial to reduce brain swelling." It seems like there was no change. You didn’t know any of this?

Ray: No. I had no idea…

Jon: I don’t want to jump the gun here, Ray, but… To me, it sounds like the doctors tried what they could and then stopped. Mike must have known he was going to die.

Ray: A brain aneurysm.

Jon: He could’ve died at any time.

Ray: Well I was still the reason it happened that day.

Jon: It might have happened early, or it could’ve burst the next day. I can’t know for sure.

Ray: None of this makes what happened any easier.

Jon: It doesn’t, I’m sure. But you can be sure that Mike was ready to die at any moment. I don’t think he would’ve wanted you to.

Ray: Why didn’t he tell me? I could’ve-

Jon: There was nothing you could’ve done.

Ray: I would have pulled him off the project. He should’ve been resting, not working.

Jon: If he was anything like you, I can almost guarantee he would’ve hated that more.

[Ray sighs heavily.]

Ray: Hey kid…

Jon: Yeah?

Ray: I know… This is literally why you hate ghosts, but… I have a favor to ask you.

Jon: Anything.

Ray: I’m going to go now. To move on, or whatever it is that happens. On the off chance that Mike isn’t there with me, and you run into him… Can you…

Jon: I’ll tell him you feel incredibly guilty, and that you’re the most stubborn ghost I know.

Ray: Heh. Yeah yeah. Seems like we’ve both learned a thing or two about blaming ourselves to for things outside our control.

Jon: What do you mean? (Pause) Ray? (Sigh)

[Mic cut.]