How i Died S3 E11: Un-Human

Transcript: How i Died S3 E11: Un-Human

This transcript is adapted from the episode’s original script, so the final audio may differ slightly.

INT. MORGUE OFFICE – DAY

[Jon is on the phone in his office, with the clock still ticking behind him.]

Jon: Hey Crowley, it's Jon again. I haven't heard from you. Just checking in to make sure everything is okay.

[There's a tap on the door.]

Mendez: Knock knock.

Jon: Mendez! Hey.

Mendez: Hey doc. Grab your shit and let's go; I've got a case for you.

Jon: You're taking me this time?

Mendez: I am… That a problem?

Jon: No. Just curious. Where's Crowley?

Mendez: She's on another case. Asked me to bring you on this one. Are you coming or not?

[Jon gets up suddenly, grabbing his jacket.]

Jon: Absolutely; yeah. (beat) Hey, I've got these files for Crowley. Would you mind giving them to her, if you see her?

Mendez: Sure, whatever. Let's go!

EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT

[It's late. Crickets on a mid-spring evening, with very little other activity nearby. Mendez parks the car and gets out. Jon follows.]

Mendez: Mother… fucker.

Jon: What's wrong?

[Mendez shakes the gate.]

Mendez: They were supposed to leave the gate unlocked. (beat) Guess we're hoofing it.

Jon: Like we have to jump over?

Mendez: No, dummy. I've got keys to the booth we can pass through. But it would've been easier to just drive the car through. Here.

[He unlocked a booth door. Jon and Mendez squeeze through, into the cemetery.]

Mendez: Phew. Tight quarters.

[Mendez and Jon start crunching across the grass.]

Mendez: Been here before?

Jon: The cemetery? Yeah, but usually after a case. Not for one.

Mendez: You attend the funerals for victims?

Jon: Sometimes. Not all of them.

Mendez: I haven't been to one in years.

Jon: Some of the cases just… hit a little harder, you know? It just feels right to go.

Mendez: I'm surprised. I never pictured you as the sympathetic type.

Jon: It's empathy, not sympathy.

Mendez: What's the difference?

Jon: Sympathy is feeling bad for someone from their perspective. Empathy is putting yourself in their shoes.

Mendez: So if you relate to them, you feel bad enough to go the funeral?

Jon: That's kind of a shitty way of looking at it.

Mendez: Why?

Jon: I don't know. (beat) I feel like I should be able to feel sorry for someone without relating to them.

Mendez: Do you?

Jon: Alright doctor Kim; relax.

[Mendez laughs.]

Mendez: You heard they quit, right?

Jon: I am definitely aware.

[There's an uncomfortable beat as they walk in silence.]

Mendez: So…

Jon: So, a cemetery at night, huh? Are we having a séance?

Mendez: God no. I'm not pissing off a ghost.

Jon: Heh…

[Another tense beat.]

Jon: I never did get to thank you… for not telling Crowley I went to the Springfield Corp. Facility a couple of months ago, when I was suspended.

Mendez: Yeah, well… You shouldn't be going to there in the first place. That shit's haunted.

Jon: Yeah… You mentioned that.

Mendez: But I am absolutely refusing to talk about being haunted, in a cemetery, at night.

Jon: Why are we here in the dark anyway? Wouldn't this be easier to do tomorrow?

Mendez: You're telling me. But the fucking groundskeeper has a funeral happening tomorrow, right near the plot we're going to. He said it would "disturb the attendees" if we're digging up a body during it.

Jon: We're… digging up a body?

Mendez: You and me, no. A crew came out earlier. We just need you to help identify some… inconsistencies before we move anything.

Jon: Inconsistencies?

Mendez: There are two bodies in one coffin.

Jon: That's definitely… inconsistent.

Mendez: Yup. Dirk Bevins went missing about a week ago or more. He didn't open his store for a while, and someone called the police. We didn't have much to go on, until a few days ago, someone else noticed a man matching his description hanging around the cemetery.

Jon: So he went… voluntarily missing?

Mendez: Who knows. Hart and I follow up; nothing seemed off to the groundskeeper and he doesn't remember seeing anyone. Until…

Jon: Until…

Mendez: We realize that Dirk's deceased wife was buried in the cemetery. Maybe he's visiting her, right? Something like that. We go to check the grave site and it's got new dirt on top.

Jon: As in someone recently opened it up?

Mendez: Opened it and re-closed it. So we bring the crew out, dig it up to check, and viola — two bodies inside a single coffin.

Jon: And I'm here to confirm the second is Dirk's?

Mendez: Oh, no. We're certain it's Dirk. He's not that decomposed after a day or two. I can identify him from a recent photo. We just need you to tell us… why and how he got put in there. Plus, the second body is… interesting. You'll see.

Jon: Right. Well… at least I'm involved this time.

Mendez: What's that mean?

Jon: I just feel like I've been iced out.

Mendez: You're on a case right now.

Jon: With Crowley, I mean. I'm here with you.

Mendez: What's wrong with me?

Jon: Nothing! You know what I mean. (beat) Crowley was always the point of contact. It felt like we were a team, and now we're just… not.

Mendez: Trust me, I know the feeling.

Jon: She icing you out, too?

Mendez: No one is icing anyone out.

Jon: But you're not working together on cases.

Mendez: It's complicated.

Jon: Is there something going on between you two?

Mendez: Hey now; we're not close enough for this conversation.

Jon: It's just that… I've seen you two obviously. You have great chemistry.

Mendez: We're partners.

Jon: Currently-estranged partners.

Mendez: We're fine.

[Another tense beat.]

Jon: How's your hand?

Mendez: Do you have something you want to say?

Jon: Crowley told me about the car accident. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Mendez: No you didn't. You wanted to imply that you know so I'd talk to you.

Jon: Sorry. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm trying to connect.

Mendez: Well you're doing a shitty job at it. (beat) We're here.

[Mendez stops.]

Jon: That's a big hole.

Mendez: They dug a little off mark… so we had to expand it. Plus, now you can stand on the side. (beat) Go ahead in.

Jon: Is there a… ladder, or…

Mendez: Rope. I'll hold this side.

Jon: Great. High-tech.

[Jon grabs the rope and slides down into the hole.]

Jon: What happens if I can't get back up?

Mendez: I'm bigger than you. You'll be fine.

[Jon lands on the coffin. He backs up onto the dirt.]

Jon: Cozy. Drop me a flashlight.

[Mendez does. Jon catches it.]

Jon: Oof.

[He clicks on the flashlight. Jon opens the casket slowly. Then–]

Dirk: Ahhh!

[Jon falls back, gasping.]

Mendez: (on high alert) What? What happened?!

Dirk: Phew! Holy crap, I thought I'd be stuck in there forever again.

Jon: Nothing, just… got startled.

Mendez: From the coffin? This can't be the worst shape you've seen a body.

Dirk: Ugh, you're back again? Just let me sleep.

Jon: It's not. Just… nevermind. (beat) You're not seeing anything… weird, right?

Mendez: Weird?

Jon: What exactly, uh… What exactly am I looking at?

Mendez: Two bodies in a coffin.

Jon: Right, but–

Dirk: Go away!

Mendez: Does it look like they're hugging to you? Hugging, right?

Jon: Hugging?

Dirk: Seriously; I've told at least four people now, including you, to piss off.

Jon: Hey Mendez.

Mendez: Yeah?

Jon: I left a, um, soil spectrometer in your police car.

Mendez: Of course you did.

Jon: Would you mind going to get it for me?

Mendez: (annoyed) Is it important?

Jon: It lets me analyze the type of dirt… to see if there are multiple kinds. If so, it means he was moved here. So yeah… a little important.

Mendez: And you left it.

Jon: In your car; yeah. I'd go get it, but then I'd have to climb out, and waste time I could be using to look at the body. We'll be here all night.

Mendez: (sighing) What's it look like?

Jon: You'll know when you see it! Hard to miss.

Mendez: You realize you can't climb out alone, right?

Jon: I'll be fine.

[Mendez drops the rope. He starts walking away, mumbling to himself.]

Mendez: Walking through a creepy ass cemetery at night… One flashlight. Son of a bitch…

[Jon waits until he's out of earshot.]

Jon: Dirk Bevins?

Dirk: Please! Just let me sleep.

Jon: My name is Jon. Do you know why people haven't been listening to you?

Dirk: Because all of you are assholes.

Jon: Actually, it's because no one else can hear you. You're a ghost right now, Dirk. And people think they're just looking at a dead body in a coffin.

Dirk: Bull.

Jon: Seriously. I'm the only one who can hear or see you. Try standing. You'll see. (beat) Whoa, let me back up.

[Jon shuffles in the dirt.]

Dirk: There. I'm standing. Wouldn't I be floating if I was dead?

Jon: You are, but only like a centimeter above the dirt. It's pretty much like standing.

Dirk: Again, bull. I'm going back to sleep.

Jon: Turn around and look…

Dirk: At wha– oh my God that's me. That's my body.

Jon: Exactly.

Dirk: I'm actually dead?

Jon: You are.

Dirk: So where is Mable?

Jon: Is that your wife?

Dirk: Yes! Where is she?

Jon: I'm not sure. How long ago did she die?

Dirk: In 1992.

Jon: That's a long time ago. And you died, maybe two or three days ago. She's probably long gone.

Dirk: What do you mean, gone?

Jon: You're a ghost right now, and she was when she died, too. But you don't stay as a ghost. You can move on to whatever else is next, and maybe that's where she went.

Dirk: So will I see her?

Jon: I don't know… Maybe.

Dirk: How can I move on?

Jon: Well, if you can just hold on for a minute, I have questions.

Dirk: I'm too tired for questions.

Jon: Is that why you came to the cemetery? Because you were tired?

Dirk: I've been tired for twenty years. Maybe more. Maybe… since Mable.

Jon: What happened to her?

Dirk: Huh? Same thing that happened to a lot of people. She got sick from the storm.

Jon: Do you mind if I…

Dirk: Disturb our dead bodies? Sure; go for it.

[Jon bends down. He moves Dirk's body a little, looking below.]

Jon: She's heavily decayed…

Dirk: I know.

Jon: Her bone structure… It's odd.

Dirk: Didn't they ever tell you not to speak ill of the dead?

Jon: Did she have some birth defect while she was alive?

Dirk: She was perfect.

Jon: Because I'm seeing… a malformed jawline in her skull… An additional bore in her temple… Look.

Dirk: I don't know what I'm looking at. That's just bones; not my wife.

Jon: Right here. Look at the jaw. These back teeth here, they don't look like molars… They're… pointed.

Dirk: Maybe they broke in here.

Jon: And this tiny hole in her temple… It's like a… I don't know what to make of that. (beat) You said she had Storm Shock? What was it like?

Dirk: You want me to relive that?

Jon: If you don't mind.

Dirk: I do mind. It was awful. Watching her get sicker and sicker.

Jon: Did she, uh… grow any extra toes, or anything weird like that? I've heard stuff like that happens with victims…

Dirk: No extra toes; no.

Jon: This almost doesn't look human…

Dirk: Again; that's my wife!

Jon: You came to see her?

Dirk: I loved her. I still do. It hurt so bad to live without her, every single day. I just wanted to be with her again. It was the anniversary of her death.

Dirk: I was tired…

Jon: You dug all the way down here, and opened the coffin, didn't you?

Dirk: I came in the evening. It look almost until morning. Then I found her and laid down.

Jon: Jesus… How'd you get covered back up? You didn't do that, right?

Dirk: I got awoken, yelled and asked to go back to sleep. I told you. You guys keep doing that. Then the dirt came down.

Jon: You said you saw four people, right? Me, two cops and who else?

Dirk: I don't know. Some old guy. He was really annoyed and horrified when he saw me. He came back with a ditch digger.

Jon: And then "the dirt came down"?

Dirk: Right. And I was left to sleep for a while.

Jon: Dirk, I think… you were buried in here. Probably alive, but… I'll have to…

[Jon moves Dirk's body, flipping it over. Clothes rustle as he touches it.]

Dirk: What are you doing to me?

Jon: I'm going to check your airway. If there's dirt in your lungs, it means you were alive when the dirt was pushed back in here.

Mendez: Doc; is this it?

[Jon turns suddenly.]

Jon: Hey; um… No. I think that's a tire pressure gauge. It's probably yours.

Mendez: Yeah… it looked like one. But I'm not going back.

Jon: It's fine.

Mendez: What are you doing to them?

Jon: Pull me up.

[Mendez grabs the rope, acting as an anchor. Jon climbs up.]

Jon: Phew; thanks.

Mendez: You don't need your dirt… thermometer?

Jon: No, I'll use it back in the lab. I think we should exhume both of these bodies and transport them back.

Mendez: Both bodies?

Jon: Yeah… For Dirk, I need to check his lungs to see if he inhaled any dirt. If he did; he was alive while he was buried. But I didn't see any nail marks or signs of a struggle.

Jon: There's nothing under his fingernails. It looks like he was just… laying there when the dirt was put back on him.

Mendez: So he was dead.

Jon: Maybe. I can't be sure here.

Mendez: Got it. But why the other body?

Dirk: Just leave us alone!

Jon: Dirk's wife, Mable… She was a victim of Storm Shock. Her bone structure in the coffin seems to have… changed. I want to take a look at what happened.

Mendez: You want to… Do you think she's related to Dirk's death at all?

Jon: No. It's just that–

Mendez: So you want to just… check out her bones.

Jon: I think it could be important for knowing what happens with Storm Shock… Plus she's already partially exhumed.

Mendez: That's not how it works, Jon. Do you know what kind of hoops I'll have to jump through just to get Dirk's body out of there? And you want me to file for an unrelated body? Not gonna happen.

Jon: Crowley would probably be interested in knowing, too…

Mendez: That's great. She can be the one to tell you no, then.

Jon: If I could get ahold of her.

Mendez: It'll be a couple of days to get Dirk's body approved for movement.

Dirk: Great, I can sleep.

Mendez: You need anything else here, or can we head back? I apparently have some paperwork to do…

Jon: We can go…

[They start walking.]

Jon: Just curious — How old is the groundskeeper here? You met him, right?

Mendez: Old.

Jon: And is there a… construction vehicle or something around. Something that could dig up dirt?

Mendez: We used it earlier. Why?

Jon: Just curious. If I do find dirt in Dirk's lungs… Maybe the groundskeeper found him and buried him.

Mendez: Why the hell would he do that?

Jon: I think Dirk dug this hole himself. And then just… laid down to die.

Mendez: You got all that from ten minutes with a body?

Jon: Maybe he missed his wife.

Mendez: You doing okay, doc? You miss your wife? Haha.

[Jon is quiet for a moment.]

Jon: My ex-boyfriend. Actually…

Mendez: Oh. Oh. I didn't know. Sorry to assume.

Jon: Oh, no; you're good. I didn't mean it like that. He, uh, he died is all. So ya know; just kind of a sensitive subject that's been on my mind.

Mendez: And that's why you're projecting onto a dead guy?

[Jon laughs.]

Jon: Have you… ever been in love?

Mendez: I'm thirty seven years old. Are we in a Lifetime movie?

Jon: Are you in love with Crowley?

Mendez: What? Why would you? Where did that come from?

Jon: Just something I've picked up on.

Mendez: Yeah, well… leave private life private.

Jon: You guys bicker a lot.

Mendez: So do you.

Jon: But you also have a tight bond.

Mendez: We've worked together for a while now.

Jon: And she feels terrible about what happened to you.

Mendez: Now we're back on this…

[They walk in silence more.]

Mendez: She should feel terrible. She lied to me. She kept important information from me, and it led to- –

[He holds up his hand.]

Mendez: We got played. She almost got us killed, and then she shot–

[He trails off. Jon won't let it go.]

Jon: She shot… someone?

Mendez: Leave it alone, Spacer. She did what she thought she needed to do, to make things right. (beat) You of all people should know that in the heat of the moment…

[They walk in silence more.]

Mendez: When her son died, I thought it would be it for her. We weren't even partners then; she was deputy, and I just worked in the office.

Mendez: We weren't that close. But… I could feel her energy change. Like she was lost, just floating through life. I prayed for her. (laugh) I'm not religious, but I hoped it helped. I lit those, uh, those little candles where you ask for something. I asked for her to heal. (beat) Then our boss got indicted and she was rushed into a promotion I don't think she even wanted. Suddenly it was like she had a new purpose. I think it helped her cope. I saw a new side to her. How strong she was. If she could get through that, then she could get through anything. That's the moment I fell in love with her. Almost three years ago…

[He trails off again. After a beat, Jon speaks.]

Jon: Have you told her?

Mendez: We've all lost somebody, Spacer. She lost her son; got divorced. I lost my brother. Hell, you lost your boyfriend. People like us, we don't just get happy endings. Because we know in the end… there's just loss.

[Jon thinks for a moment as they continue walking. There's tension. He's debating saying something…]

Mendez: You first through the guard post.

[Jon squeezes through. Conversation between them should be strained like they're squeezing through.]

Jon: Awhile ago, you asked me about your brother, right?

Mendez: Alex; yeah.

Jon: He worked at Springfield Corp. As a scientist?

[Mendez laughs.]

Mendez: He was a custodian. Scientist doesn't exactly run in my family.

Jon: When the explosion happened, Alex got out.

Mendez: What are you saying?

[They're both out the other side.]

Jon: He went to the underground bunker, which was safe. There was supposedly food and water down there. I think he survived a long time. And… I think someone from the Springfield Corporation came and found him.

[Mendez stops.]

Mendez: What the fuck are you talking about?

Jon: He might be alive somewhere.

Mendez: (angrily) How could you possibly say that? You don't know that.

Jon: (softly) What the fuck do you believe in, Mendez?

Mendez: What?

Jon: You said you're not religious, but you pray. You think Springfield is haunted or cursed.

Jon: Do you believe in that stuff? Ghosts, and monsters?

Mendez: I don't know. Where is this coming from?

Jon: The fucking body in that coffin didn't look human.

Mendez: Dirk?

Jon: The other one. The one that suffered from Storm Shock. Something changed it. And I think there's more to this place being cursed than you know about. But I think you're right. And Alex might've–

Mendez: Shut up about Alex! Don't talk about things you don't know.

Jon: But I do know!

Mendez: How?!

Jon: I can talk to ghosts!

[There's a pause. Jon gasps at what he said.]

Mendez: You what?

Jon: Nothing. I didn't say–

Mendez: You don't think you can–

Jon: No, I… It was a metaphor.

Mendez: A metaphor.

Jon: Is that your car?

[Mendez turns.]

Mendez: Sure is. We're back at the gate.

Jon: Do you mind if we just dropped this? We, uh, don't need to talk in the car.

Mendez: Yup. I'd prefer that.

[Mendez clicks to unlock his car.]